Tuesday 12 May 2015

Creative Paragraphs- Man In Space

This week we have been learning to rework our writing to make our paragraphs interesting for our audience. We started by writing a creative sentence about this picture. As a class we will choose Nate's sentence because we liked it the best and wrote a paragraph each to follow the chosen sentence. Here is the beginning of my story that starts with Nate's sentence.

https://sites.google.com/a/ptengland.school.nz/year-5-2015/writing/mrs-jacobsen/term2/Man%20in%20space.jpg

A spaceman bravely walks out into the icy milkyway. Oh no! There is a crack  in his helmet, he can’t breathe. He begins to freeze.


Luckily someone is watching. They quickly help him come back in the ship. They get the laser to unfreeze him.

As the laser touches him he begins to feel warm and good. “Thank you” he says to the people that saved him. I hope it will happen again.

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